Baby Got Back
by panda-feed
Summary: Sam and Dean meet in a bar and find out they were meant for each other! A song fic. AU


Title: Baby Got Back

Rating: M

Warnings: buttsecks

Summary: Sam and Dean meet in a bar and find out they were meant for each other! A song fic. Please R/R!!!!

_I like big butts and I can not lie_

_You other brothers can't deny_

_Dean sits alone in a bar, stuffing his mouth full of peanuts._

_That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist_

_And a round thing in your face_

_You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough_

_'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed_

_Deep in the jeans she's wearing_

_I'm hooked and I can't stop staring_

_Dean sees Sam walk in the door and is immediately drawn to his large physique._

_Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha_

_And take your picture_

_My homeboys tried to warn me_

_But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny_

Dean summons up the courage to approach Sam. He has a vision of the two of them making fat, sloppy love.

_Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin_

_You say you wanna get in my Benz?_

_Well, use me, use me_

_'Cause you ain't that average groupy_

_I've seen them dancin'_

_The hell with romancin'_

_She's sweat, wet,_

_Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette_

Dean asks Sam to dance. They hit it off immediately and grind their large asses together.

_I'm tired of magazines_

_Sayin' flat butts are the thing_

_Take the average black man and ask him that_

_She gotta pack much back_

_So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)_

_Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)_

_Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)_

_Shake that healthy butt!_

_Baby got back!_

They leave the bar together, barely keeping their clothes on, hands all over each other.

_I like 'em round, and big_

_And when I'm throwin' a gig_

_I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal_

_Now here's my scandal_

_I wanna get you home_

_And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh_

The two men enter Dean's apartment, leaving a trail of XXL clothes in their wake.

_I ain't talkin' bout Playboy_

_'Cause silicone parts are made for toys_

_I want 'em real thick and juicy_

_So find that juicy double_

_Mix-a-Lot's in trouble_

_Beggin' for a piece of that bubble_

_So I'm lookin' at rock videos_

_Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes_

_You can have them bimbos_

_I'll keep my women like Flo Jo_

After a vigorous night of love-making, Sam and Dean eat ice cream together. A bit of ice cream dribbles down Sam's chins and Dean licks it off.

_A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya_

_I won't cuss or hit ya_

_But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck_

_Til the break of dawn_

_Baby got it goin' on_

_A lot of simps won't like this song_

_'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it_

_And I'd rather stay and play_

_'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong_

_And I'm down to get the friction on_

The next morning, Dean and Sam go to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. They close down the restaurant.

_So, ladies! Yeah! Ladies! Yeah_

_If you wanna role in my Mercedes Yeah!_

_Then turn around! Stick it out!_

_Even white boys got to shout_

_Baby got back!_

_The two men stroll through the grocery store, holding hands and pointing at cakes and pies._

_Baby got back!_

_Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'_

_to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3"._

Sam shyly plants a kiss on one of Dean's chubby cheeks. Dean blushes and giggles.

_So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda_

_But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda_

_My anaconda don't want none_

_Unless you've got buns, hun_

_You can do side bends or sit-ups,_

_But please don't lose that butt_

_Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role_

_And tell you that the butt ain't gold_

_So they toss it and leave it_

_And I pull up quick to retrieve it_

_So Cosmo says you're fat_

_Well I ain't down with that!_

Back home, Sam proceeds to eat his weight in candy while Dean watches with loving eyes. He can barely contain himself watching Sam shove his mouth full of sweets.

_'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'_

_And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'_

_To the beanpole dames in the magazines:_

_You ain't it, Miss Thing!_

_Give me a sista, I can't resist her_

_Red beans and rice didn't miss her_

_Some knucklehead tried to dis_

_'Cause his girls are on my list_

_He had game but he chose to hit 'em_

_And I pull up quick to get wit 'em_

_So ladies, if the butt is round,_

_And you want a triple X throw down,_

_Dial 1-900-MIXALOT_

_And kick them nasty thoughts_

_Baby got back!_

Sam and Dean make sweet, candy coated love once again.


End file.
